How To Get The Most Out Of Your Vibrator

Orgasms — you know ‘em, you love ‘em, and hopefully you’re getting them regularly. As in at least a few times a week. If you’re not, then we need to have a little chat about the power of a good vibrator. 

Sex, as fun and beautiful and exciting as it is, doesn’t always get the job done. In fact, new studies have shown what many of us already know: Penetrative sex on its own does not always lead to an orgasm. In fact, an estimated 75 percent of women are not able to orgasm through intercourse alone. External stimulation, be it manual or with a buzzing BFF from your “special drawer” of your nightstand, is a much more reliable way to get your O on.

According to Savannah Robertson, Sales Manager for the ultra-chic sex toy line Dame, this so-called “pleasure gap” is something most cis-gender women aren’t aware of and it could be affecting everything from your sexual wellbeing to you relationship with your partner. “A lot of people don’t know about the pleasure gap,” she notes, “and if I would have known some of the things I know now, I probably would have engaged in more pleasure with my partner instead of not knowing what things should feel like because I didn’t have the tools or education about self-exploration and self-love.”

Which is where Dame comes in. Now, looking at their line-up of toys, you might be feeling a bit confused. These are not your typical (read: phallic) vibrators, but rather products made for external stimulation by women who understand female pleasure. Or, as Robertson puts it, “we’re vulvas making toys for vulvas.”

She explains, “The reason why our products are shaped the way they are is because they are made by people who know the female anatomy, have the female anatomy, and were really designing with the female anatomy completely in mind.” CEO Alexandra Fine is a sexologist, while MIT Engineer Janet Lieberman is Chief Product Designer — with their combined experience, the co-founders set out to create vibes that look as good as they feel and that are made with your health in mind. The result is some of the most effective vibrators (and best orgasms) we’ve ever had. 

“Our products are made out of medical grade silicone. We don’t use any vinyls or cheap plastic,” says Robertson. “So what I tell people about buying a Dame product is that you are going to be purchasing a product with better materials, a better motor, and just better quality — plus we have a three-year warranty.”

Ready to get buzzed? Of course you are. To help you find the right Dame for your sexy time needs, we asked Robertson to break down each of the five vibes stocked at Shen. Whether you’re looking for solo play or fun with a friend, there’s a toy for you. Remember, self-love is self-care and something we all need to be our happiest, healthiest selves. Bonus points if you mask while you masturbate — that’s the kind of multi-tasking we can get behind.

 Dame vibrators

Eva
Eva is the first toy that we launched and most people know Dame because of Eva. It is a couples toy you can wear during intercourse and doesn’t obstruct your vaginal canal during penetration. It is one of the only couples toys that’s both hands free and external. So it’s giving you both external stimulation on your clitoris and it’s tucks under your labia majora but it doesn’t obstruct your vaginal canal, so you and your partner are feeling each other inside but you are still getting that external stimulation that people have told us that they need to orgasm.”

Fin
“If you are starting out with self-exploration or if you haven’t purchased a vibrator before, Fin is a great tool. It fits between your fingers, has three different speeds, is easy to turn on and off, and it gets the job done. There’s no manual or app — you open the box, it’s fully charged. All of our products are fully charged out of the box. Fin is also a great couple toy and a great partner toy. It’s not cumbersome, so it fits in between bodies really easily. It’s great for foreplay for partners to really take control with their hands over your different erogenous zones, like on your neck or chest or breasts, so it’s not just on and around the vulva.”

Pom
“Pom is more of an intermediate toy. It’s a flexible vibrator, meaning It doesn’t have any internal plastic so it is very soft and bendy and squishy. It has a stronger motor than both Eva and Fin — it’s a more rumbling motor, so if you like a more powerful sensation, I would definitely recommend Pom.” 

Zee
“Zee is our classic bullet vibrator. We launched Zee because people told us they wanted something a little more classic. It’s also our most economical vibrator at $30. Zee is a great travel toy. It’s also great to use in harnesses, or dildos or strap ons that you can put bullet vibrators in. And it’s an easy gift, something you can purchase for a friend or a partner.” 

Kip
“Kip is our lipstick vibe and I would also classify it as a beginner’s vibe. It looks like a classic lipstick vibrator — we designed it to mimic an ergonomic pencil so it’s comfortable and easy to hold on to but has the same motor as Pom. Maybe this is the second toy that you’ve purchased and maybe you want something that has a little more power.”

Now that you’ve got the education and the tools you need, let’s close that pleasure gap once and for all.

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"Beauty is self care. And self care makes us feel beautiful."

-Athena Calderone